Garbage Fish

As I write this my Moon is sobbing a little while she tries to get some homework done. She is sobbing not because of the homework (ok…maybe a little because of the homework), but mostly because of a painful social situation with which she is currently dealing and a little because her braces hurt. I will confess in all honesty…that it is breaking my heart and that it is taking every single bit of self control that I possess NOT to intervene (Mamma Bear is not warranted at the time and is under lock and key). We talked about it a bit; I tried to soften things; I gave her some ibuprofen for her physical pain; and she let me know that she wanted to be alone…. So, I am writing to keep myself involved in some other activity and to deal with my situation in my own way and to let her deal with hers in her way, while silently monitoring and preparing to offer advice when/if needed…and preferably requested, as this is the best way for her to truly hear it.

A while back when I was at the pet store picking up food for the furrier members of the family, I ended up wandering into the aquarium section. It was probably the first time as a mom that I had wandered back there just to look and not to try to find Little Man to tell him a million times “no” to the million times he asks if he can have a fish. I was alone, and I guess I was simply trying to extend my me time out of the house…which at times simply involves wandering the supermarket aisles…or the pet store, in this case. Anyhow, I stopped in front of one of the aquariums and watched for a while as the bright showy tropical fish swam back and forth, oblivious to my existence. As they flitted about in a formidable show of color, one fish caught my eye: a very plain colored fish in the back that I had not immediately noticed. It was one of those sucker fish that I used to call “garbage fish” when I was a kid. There he was, attached to the back of the aquarium, slowly moving across the glass, clearing it of algae and helping to improve the water quality in the tank to the benefit of the other fish.

Isn’t it funny how we can sometimes try to stimulate our thoughts with targeted books, articles, or films…and then something as banal as watching a little brown fish suck on glass at the pet store kicks our brain into deep contemplation? That is what this little guy did for me…and in a moment of rapture (or maybe it was Little Man mind control) I almost brought him home with me…almost until I remembered that I would most certainly become his sole caretaker, despite every little person’s best intentions…. So, I quietly thanked him (quietly as to avoid any local “desperate local housewife resorts to talking with fish” headlines) and went on my way, leaving with only my new line of thought and a couple bags of kibble.

I am a garbage fish. Or, at least that is what I am currently aspiring to be…perhaps against the odds. In my family tank, I am constantly trying to clean the environment of enough toxins so that my bright, shiny, even if sometimes extremely moody, little tropical fish offspring can thrive. I am not talking about house clutter here, though there is plenty of that to go around, and I do often find my gills clogged with the unpaired single socks that seem to be spontaneously generating in our home…. In this case I am referring to the psychological toxins that surround us on a daily basis and which have increased exponentially with the internet and the possibility of constant social contact that comes with personal computers, iPads, iPods, Kindles, cellphones, etc. I wander the tank and try to limit the negative effects, by sucking as much of the toxins into my own gills as possible, and filtering them out in smaller more tolerable doses: doses that my three little fishes can tolerate to a degree that allows them to flourish, while strengthening them so that they will one day be able to deal with them in my absence.

I am aware…painfully aware…of my limitations in this area, but, like the garbage fish, I try to keep on swimming and cleaning, cleaning and swimming. It is my job. It is my nature. I wish I could build them an impenetrable shelter, but shelters can be dangerous. It may be beautiful and peaceful within the shelter, but the day that shelter falls…or they are forced to wander outside the shelter, they would be completely unprepared. So, I suck in toxins, confiscate electronics at times, slightly skew some stark realities to make them a little less scary, swallow some of my own adult fears, comfort and move forward when I, myself, am paralyzed with sadness.

In one grand way, however, I know that I am much luckier than the garbage fish. Unless he gets purchased, he will be stuck in that same tank for life. I have the benefit of having access to multiple tanks in which I can clear my gills while my three little fishes are out in the world, off at school, camp, outside playing, or even sleeping safely in their beds…and prepare myself to start again when they return to me. I have a tank at the tennis club where I can transform from garbage fish to a fighting beta fish for a bit; there’s a tank at the elementary school where I can hang with other parent fish and we can trade advice and clear our gills…etc. The important thing is to remember to take advantage of these other tanks.

Also, as I realized the other evening while watching a movie with my Moon, my Sun, and Little Man and a scary scene came on causing Little Man to whimper, my little fish are growing up and the older two are stepping in to help “clean the tank” for each other and for the family. As they coaxed him back out from behind the sofa and explained that it was just a movie and that they were there to protect him, my gills felt a little lighter. Now…if they would just start in on those dang socks….

Author: admin

I am a stay-at-home mom with several degrees and a side gig teaching Italian. Along with simultaneously raising and trying to figure out my three loving, entertaining, and sometimes frustrating, young offspring (my Moon, my Sun, and Little Man) I enjoying writing.

80 thoughts on “Garbage Fish”

  1. There’s been a lot of changes since I last left a comment about my site.
    I’m starting to add the new features that I’ve wanted to.
    I hope in the next few weeks that all of it will be up and
    running. It’s going to take time and I haven’t had much of it to dedicate
    to this project. I thank you all for visiting my site and I hope you have a great weekend!

  2. I’m so happy to read this. This is the type of manual that needs to be given and not the random misinformation that’s at the other blogs. Appreciate your sharing this best doc.

  3. My programmer iis trying to convince me to move to .net feom PHP.
    I have alwayys disliked the idea because of the
    expenses. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using
    Movable-type onn numerous websites for about a year and am anxious about switching
    to anotherr platform. I have heard excellnt things
    about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can import all my wordpress content into it?
    Any help woild bee really appreciated!

  4. Hmm is anyone else experiencing problemѕ with the images on this blog loading?

    І’m trying t᧐ fіnd out if іtѕ a proЬlem on my
    end oг if it’s tһe blog. Αny feed-bɑck ԝould be gгeatly appreciated.

  5. Interesting blog! Is your theme custom made oor did you download it freom somewhere?
    A theme like yours with a few simple adjustements would really make
    my blog stand out. Please let me know where you got your theme.
    Kudos

  6. I simply want to tell you that I’m beginner to blogs and truly loved your web-site. More than likely I’m likely to bookmark your site . You certainly come with very good article content. Thanks a lot for revealing your web site.

  7. Hello! Someone in my Facebook group shared this site with us so I came to look it over. I’m definitely loving the information. I’m book-marking and will be tweeting this to my followers! Outstanding blog and wonderful design.

  8. You could definitely see your expertise within the paintings you write. The sector hopes for more passionate writers such as you who aren’t afraid to mention how they believe. Always go after your heart. “We are near waking when we dream we are dreaming.” by Friedrich von Hardenberg Novalis.

  9. You have observed very interesting points ! ps nice internet site . “High school is closer to the core of the American experience than anything else I can think of.” by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr..

  10. I do enjoy the manner in which you have framed this particular matter plus it does offer me personally some fodder for consideration. Nevertheless, through what precisely I have observed, I really hope when the feed-back stack on that individuals continue to be on issue and not get started upon a soap box associated with some other news of the day. All the same, thank you for this superb point and even though I do not really go along with the idea in totality, I value your viewpoint.

  11. Sweet blog! I found it while browsing on Yahoo News.
    Do you have any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News?
    I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there!
    Appreciate it

  12. After study a few of the blog posts on your website now, and I truly like your way of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark website list and will be checking back soon. Pls check out my web site as well and let me know what you think.

  13. Hi, I do think this is a great web site. I stumbledupon it 😉 I’m going to come back yet again since i have saved as a favorite it. Money and freedom is the greatest way to change, may you be rich and continue to guide others.

  14. I’m working on a new list. I’m hopeful that this one will be much bigger.
    I made some announcements about my future site plans.
    I’m going to be adding some new stuff soon. You’ll definitely want to stay tuned for that.
    Thanks for your time and have a good weekend!

  15. Howdy! This is kind off off topic but I need some
    guidance from an established blog. Is it very hard too set up your ownn blog?
    I’m not very techincal bbut I can figure things out prety fast.
    I’m thinking about creating my own but I’m not sure where to begin. Do you have any tips
    or suggestions? With thanks

  16. I added a new blog post yesterday. There’s a smaller list than usual in it.
    I’m currently working on a bigger list. It’s going to take some
    time to compile it. I hope all of you are having
    a good week. I’m planning on doing some design changes
    to my site. I’m also thinking about adding some new things too.

    I’ll talk more about that in the days and weeks to come.

  17. I enjoy you because of all your effort on this website. My daughter enjoys managing investigation and it’s really obvious why. My partner and i learn all relating to the compelling manner you produce rewarding tricks on this website and in addition invigorate contribution from others on the idea so our favorite child is without question studying so much. Have fun with the rest of the new year. You are always doing a really good job.

  18. Undeniably believe that which you said. Your favorite reason seemed to be on the internet the easiest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I definitely get irked while people consider worries that they plainly do not know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also defined out the whole thing without having side-effects , people can take a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thanks

  19. Hello there! I know this is kinda off topic but I’d figured I’d ask. Would you be interested in trading links or maybe guest authoring a blog article or vice-versa? My website goes over a lot of the same subjects as yours and I think we could greatly benefit from each other. If you’re interested feel free to shoot me an email. I look forward to hearing from you! Wonderful blog by the way!

  20. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own blog and was curious what all is needed to get set up? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very web savvy so I’m not 100% sure. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

  21. Hey there would you mind letting mee know which hosting company you’re utilizing?
    I’ve loaded your blog in 3 completely different web browsers and I mus
    say this blog loads a lot quicker then most. Cann you suggest a good
    internet hosting provider at a fair price? Thanks, I appreciate it!

  22. You can certainly see your expertise within the article you write. The sector hopes for even more passionate writers like you who aren’t afraid to say how they believe. Always follow your heart.

  23. Sweet blog! I found it while searching on Yahoo News. Do you have any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there! Thanks

  24. You are so awesome! I do not believe I have read something like that before.
    So good to discover another person with original thoughts on this topic.
    Seriously.. many thanks for starting this up. This website
    is something that is needed on the web, someone with a bit of originality!

  25. Aw, this was a really nice post. In concept I want to put in writing like this additionally – taking time and actual effort to make a very good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and by no means appear to get one thing done.

  26. I would like to thank you for giving us such a great explanation. You are doing good job. Keep write article like this one! I have bookmark this blog for New update about SEO…

  27. I’ve been having issues with my Windows hosting. It has set me back quite a bit while making the next list. This is the current list that I have. I should add another list in less than a week. I’ll let you all know when the next list is ready. Thank you for your patience.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *